Fey Queen
by MissDawes
Summary: Kandomere meets Krista Barton, a mortal- or is she? Why do the fairies like her? There's some grainy video footage and old pictures that only lead to more questions than answers. Watch as he tries to navigate with what he thinks is an Inferni spy, and tries to stay within the lines of business, not pleasure. Kandomere/OFC. Montehugh/OFC mentioned. Maybe Jacoby love too. M, language
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**  
 **Funny Human**  
 **Kandomere POV**

"Oh my god, Nick, must you ramble? I swear I hear it more and more in my dreams."

"It's not a dream. We're in hell."

"Hell smells like bleach."

Some how this human's been caught in the brights mess. She is a civilian. There is nothing in her background check that leads me to think anything magnificent about her. An orfan girl that grew up to be a shut in. Her physique however, makes me doubt how much of a shut in she truly is. She is not thin and weak or obease like so many humans become when they close themsleves off into their homes.

There are scars on her that the doctor suspects were done deliberately. Possibly child abuse but others are more recent. Scars a shut in should not have and could not have been inflicted upon oneself.

"Really? All I smell is elves and your anger. And bleach."

She breathes in deeply. "Albino elf from hell ruined my ride, my night, and what little good looks I have left. My face feels like a balloon. Someone's gonna get a foot in her ass."

"Krista, I think you spend way too much time in la-la land if you think you can best an elf."

"Wait until I'm off the drugs and I'll put a foot in your ass too. For dropping me."

"It was an accident." The orcs ears twitch.

"You're a klutz."

"Human."

"Orc."

"Dwarf."

"I'm not a dwarf. I'm vertically challenged." Followed by her snorting at him. "I'll sass you later. Let them talk before his head explodes."  
She has unusual eyes for a human. One is blue and the other is brown. It's a trait I see more in animals than humans and with her recent injury, the white of her blue eye has turned red and created a very unusual look.

"Officer Ward, your report."

He explains the nights events as if there was no wand ever involved. We both know that's not true but we can't have more chaos, can we?  
She was in the corner store when Lailah attacked them. Tien had attacked her because she was there, but we're all in agreement that they never thought she would have fought back.

"Oh my god! Why can you never behave!"

"Oh my god, Amarel, why must you oh my god everything? And why must you scream at me like I'm deaf? And I was trying to sleep."  
"You and I both know you don't sleep. You run on anger, anxiety, cat naps and negativity. Maybe this head trauma will fix your personality."

The security downstairs texted me she was there. They frisked her, ran her background, and she is a no one. Her parents were Inferni and with that in her history, she is lowest of us.

"Yeah, no. That's not how it works. If anything, more head trauma will make me an even bigger and more moody bitch. And why are you always following me?"

"Because we both need a friend. We're like Max and Caroline."

"I'm not Caroline."

"Obviously. When can she be released? I'm amazed she hasn't already tried to walk out of here."

"She has a skull fracture, swelling in the brain, bruising on 40-percent of her body and there is going to be an inquisition of her injuries."

"Don't bother. It's a result of the foster care system where "parents" dicipline their paychecks."

"Not all of your injuries are that old."

"I said no. Do you need her to translate it for you? And why would an elf want to run a medical history on me? What do you think you're going to find."

"I'm a doctor. I do not limit myself to only the health and well being of elf patients."

"Good for you. The answer's still no and he's dead. You're gonna be able to do nothing about what's in the past. Leave it where it belongs and kindly take your nose outta my ass."

"You're very crass."

"It gets the point across. It seems the more I cuss the more people actually listen to what I'm saying and not just watching my mouth move. And when can I leave? I'd love to have my pants back. This gown's embarrassing."

"It could be worse."

"Worse how?"

"Remember Dr. Dick?"

She makes a face.

" ?" Dr. Elenwe questions.

"Human MD who's got a thing for her. They met after she picked a fight with an orc."

"She started it. I finished it."

"And he just thinks she so cute." She pinches her friends cheek.  
"Don't do that. My face hurts enough as it is."

"I bet. It's killing me."

"Yes, I'm so hideous you're always staring at me. Did you bring me clothes?"

"I did. I figured something got broken, ripped or stained so I brought you something loose but not baggy." She brings the dress out of the bag. "A dress."

She makes a face.

"Relax. It's something from the closet and not the store. It's been so long since you've worn it I had to wash the closet smell off it."

"Gee thanks."

Dr. Elenwe takes it before she can. "You'll get it in two days."  
"Pipe down, dwarf. They're footing the bill" The orc, Nick Jacoby tells her.

"I'm not a dwarf. I am not below 4-feet in height nor am I fuzzy ground dwelling butt-head."

"I'm sure Dis would disagree greatly. And I thought you wouldn't cooperate so," She reaches into the bag again and brings out a small container of ice cream.

"I hate you."

"And your laptop."

"I hate you more."

"You're a terrible friend." The Orc tells her.

"I second that." Ward adds.

"No one asked you. What?"

"You're odd." Dr. Elenwe replies.

"Thank-you."

The Orc finds our healers expression to be hilarious.

"And if you behave, I'll bring you a taco."

The orc makes a face. "You eat beef?!"

"Yes. It's delicious. I also eat sushi."

"Uuh, enough. I can't hear anymore."

"I'll take sushi instead. I'm not in the mood for messy. And no taking time off work to baby me."

"I'm sure we'll live. It's just 30 minutes and any time away from the boss man is a blessing."

"I told you, punch him in the dick and he'll learn to stop trying to dry hump you."

"Because I am not you and I need a job."

"But it doesn't have to be that job."

"Your head is swollen and you still want to argue with me!"

"If I didn't, you'd think something was wrong."

"There is something wrong with you."

She breathes in deeply, "Well, lets see, Orc who doesn't behave like an orc, speaks dominantly English, files his teeth and takes a job as a public servant. Would you like me to continue to psycho-analyze you on how you're trying to fit in with another species?"

"Shut up and eat your ice cream. This is why you can't keep friends."

"I don't like people that pretend their shit never stinks. Go to work. If you're late it gives him incentive to be a pig. I wasn't refering to you."  
Her friend moves a table over to her and sets the laptop on it, tells her she will see her later and leaves.

"I know."

"Then don't flick your ears at me and stop staring."

"You're weird."

"Fairy in the building! Get out! You rotten little beast!"

"That's not nice."

There are actually two of them. There's a flurry of wings and then they're perched on her laptop and another lands on her arm and attempts to help itself to her ice cream.

"Those are yours? Like, pets?" The orc questions exactly what I am thinking.

"I don't own them like you imply. We just have an understanding with one another." She grasps him in her hand. "Those hands better be clean when digging in my food."

It holds up both hands to show her and she lets him go.

"You better get rid of them things. They eat everything, shit everywhere, and they bite." Ward tells her.

"I'm aware. And they learned the hard way by being repeatedly slapped. You touch my food, your hands are clean and if you shit on my things, someone's getting flicked in the face. Right?"

The one on her arm shakes a fist at her and shrieks at her in a language I doubt she understands.

"Shake a fist all you want, pest. You know the rules. Break them and I'll pop your head off like a dandelion."

"You understand that gibberish."

"There's this thing called body language. Learn it. You can have the rest."

"Try to stay awake. I've arranged for a CT Scan in an hour."

"Okay. I wouldn't do that if I were you."

They've licked clean the little ice cream cup and are now playing with it. They take it off the table and on to the floor where they take turns rolling around in it.

"TV?" The Orc suggests to kill the silence and boredom.

"None of that orc music." Ward says.

"What's wrong with orc music?"

"It sounds like death metal if prisoners could play drums." Ward answers.

"You like this? Don't lie."

"I'm brutal in my honesty. It's not something I listen to every day but it doesn't make my ears bleed either."

I don't know what she is, but I don't believe she's human. Not completely. And I intend to find out everything.

A/N: Thank-you XxXLIFEafterDEATHXxX for the review and informing me there was a malfunction. I never thought to check it. I'll be sure to do so from now on so this doesn't happen again. I hope you (and everyone) enjoy!

PS. This is also posted on AO3, under MissDawes, "Fey Queen."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **Kandomere POV**

 **Black Dresses**

"Aw, don't you look cute?"

Amarel- the she-elf from yesterday that had come and gone for lunch and dinner- is back again today. Krista Barton is being released from the hospital now that the doctor feels she will heal fine at home.

"I feel like a high priced hooker. Why do you think I don't wear this? And you didn't even bring me leggings."

"Then why buy it?" Amarel questions.

"I liked it and a black dress is a necessity for a funeral."

Amarel rolls her eyes. "You've got nice legs and high priced hookers look like they have the Maybelline factory on their face. Their dress would also be about that much shorter." From behind, Amarel grabs a handful of dress on each side and hikes it up. "There, now you can go back to your corner."

"Smart-ass, bitch." Krista smooths the dress all the way down.

"Want me to fix your hair?" Amarel asks.

"Can't we just go home?"

"It's always home with you. " The elf pouts.

"Yes. Home is nice. Home is safe. It's a drama free and stupid people free zone."

"Sit."

Krista's option to bark in response makes everyone- including myself- jump.

"Good girl." Amarel pets her hair.

"Well there's not much choice in it. If you bruise me, I'll turn your hair into coleslaw."

Amarel gasps. "You wouldn't!"

"Watch me."

"Then I'll just have to drug your food and return the favor." She uses a rat-tailed comb from her purse to divide Krista's hair and quickly braids each side back. "There, now it kinda looks like you've got horns."

"Oh my god! There's a woman under there." Jacoby teases.

"You didn't you know I was born a man?" Krista is so serious about it that for a second she has us all fooled.

The orc breathes deeply and his ears wiggle. "Oh, I highly doubt that."

"Don't you sniff me. I'll flick you in the nose."

"Ooh, I think he likes you."Amarel teases.

"You think everyone likes me." Krista points out.

"Lets go shopping while we're here."

"No."

"Yes."

"No." Krista moans louder and proceeds to melt into the chair. "Nope. I'm not moving. I got beat up and I'm high. I don't wanna go shopping."

"I will carry you like a sack of potatoes and cause you to moon everyone if you don't get up this instant. And obviously you're not high enough if you're not willing to go shopping. Have another one of these."

"You're a terrible friend."

"I used your card to get me a new pair of shoes." Amarel informs her.

"Say what?"

"And I have to pick them up. They were speaking to me, Kris. Buy me. Buy me. I'll so good on you. People will love me on you and you'll get better tips." Amarel speaks in a higher voice.

"So much for emergencies and food only. Lets go get it then." She sighs.

"Put your shoes on." Amarel tells her.

"No."

"Yes."

"They're not shoes, they're hooker heels." Krista argues.

"They go with your dress."

That is perfect for her. It's simple black with an overlay of lace with lace sleeves and zips up the back.

"And they will send me falling down the stairs face first. My face is already damaged, thank you. I'm not cracking my head open for the sake of looking good."

"You walk like a man."

"Why are you watching my walk, Officer Ward? That's highly unethical of you."

I don't think she walks like a man. I think . . . I need to find a female companion.

"Your insurance already went through due to me nagging. I got you a new truck." Amarel tells her.

"An incredibly expensive truck that is estimated worth of 170,000 dollars." Montehugh tells me. "I did a little more digging. She's filthy rich. Like elf or dwarf royalty filthy rich. Once upon a time she was a performer, ballet, then gymnastics where she's received the gold, silver & bronze medals, and then full-contact MMA."

"MMA?"

"Mixed martial arts. Think of it as karate, judo, tae kwon doe and all that mixed with boxing and wrestling. Her last match nearly got her killed when someone lost thousands betting she'd lose. That someone didn't take kindly to her telling him where to shove it and tried to kill her. That's where some of the scarring came from."

"Some?"

"I don't know about the rest. There's no record of her being in the military or law enforcement. There isn't even record of her taking classes for her training so whoever it was, they did everything off the books or outta the kindness of their heart." Judging by his voice I can tell Montehugh has doubts about the latter.

"Since then she's turned into a shut in. She works from home making fashion apparel, quilts, and is a landlord of four apartment buildings in the city."

"This escaped our first check how?" I question.

"She became a nobody. They only went back five years. It's been ten since she retired from the ring. In the human world, that's long enough to forget someone. One of the newbs did the check. I already reprimanded him for his slacking. Look at this. Her last match was against that." He shows me an image on his phone. "Light weight champion Horacio Vasquez. One of the few mixed gender matches ever done. She beat his ass like a bongo drum." He taps the screen and the video plays. "Hard to picture that going to be a quilter."

"She had to find another means of work. Perhaps the damage done to her has caused irreparable damage or chronic pain." I suggest.

He shrugs and scrolls on his phone. "Either way, she smells funny to me. And her roommate has a YOUTUBE channel," He chuckles "Elf and her pet hermit that she calls The Angry Dwarf. That she-elf breaks all stereotypes.

This is her very first video."

"This is my roommate, see her sleeping so peacefully?" Amarel speaks on the video.

The video zooms out and shows that surrounding her bed is a million plastic cups with water in them and mixed in there among the water is mouse traps.

"This is my revenge prank for her pranking me on Halloween. That ridiculous human "holiday." Really, what is the point of it? Just buy candy and eat it! Anyway, I'm gonna fast forward until she actually gets outta bed. Here it goes."

It fast forwards to about an hour later when Amarel pokes her head in and tells her it's noon.

"Kris, Kris."

"Sleeping, go away."

"It's noon."

"I was up until midnight."

"I don't care. It's time to get up or you're gonna be mad later your internal clock is weird."

"Fine. Get out. You're always complaining about me sleeping in my undies."

"Because it's weird. Humans are weird."

"And I don't know how you can tolerate," Her foot lands right on a trap and it sends her teetering one way and then falling into water and mouse traps. I'm waiting for the anger but as quickly as it comes, it's melting away and she starts laughing.

"You say I'm weird! Who knew elves to be pranksters?"

"What can I say? I live to break stereotypes." Amarel throws water right in her face.

"A shower. Thanks. It's just what I needed."

As she's getting up, Amarel announces she's going to post this on YOUTUBE and that's what makes her angry. There's fighting in the hallway followed by Amarel going into her room and closing the door behind her.

"And that is how you make a dwarf angry. Bye!"

"Ridiculous."

"They get better. Kris joins in on the pranking and there's debates between them, and some girly stuff like make-up tutorials. Y'know, we finally got some decent footage back from the cameras. I think she's a bright. Or half dwarf. She is a little woman."

"Too tall for a dwarf. I'll take the first six hours. I want two others on this so we can take shifts."

"On it."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **Kandomere POV**

 **Woman-Child**

Today is my last day surveying her. I think she knows we are here. Regardless, she does what she wants, when she wants.

For example, regardless of us being here, she's worn a nightie that leaves little to the imagination. If I didn't know better, I'd say she was teasing me. But the spaghetti strapped nightgown without a bra ables her skin to breathe, wounds to scab and bruises to heal.

I've noticed she is painfully ordinary. She confrences with her managers over scype. She talks to investors over the phone but has scheduled no meetings. She shops on-line and has things delivered whenever she can. The one time she went out shopping it was so late at night that the store was practically empty. I think that's how she likes it.

Amarel has become Krista's nagging mother. She has limited Krista's video game time to one hour a day. She's limited Krista's time in the basement that is where her sewing supplies are.

She is just as ordinary as Krista. Amarel works as a waitress at a bistro off the main strip. She hates her boss, finds Krista's sewing and quilting to be boring, but loves to model her clothing. (Which by the way, is probably the best I have ever seen from a mortal in a very long time.)

She enjoys xbox and often plays it in nothing more than her underwear. I think I have been alone far too long because I don't like the way seeing her undressed affects me.

Today she has gone to Amarels work where she has been harassing one man in particular over the course of four days now.

"Mind if I join you?"

"Did you finally get tired of watching me from your car?" She asks as she looks up at me.

"You knew?"

She repsonds with a smile that is sarcastic to me.

"Any particular reason you're harassing your friends boss?" I sit across from her at the small 2-person table.

"He harasses her. But she won't report him or find another job. I thought how nice it would be to make him uncomfortable."

Amarel's boss, Donald is tall for a human male, bordering on middle-age, and has a willowy build. He is not a handsome man and he smells of terrible cologne. I know because I had passed him and for a moment my eyes watered from the offensive scent.

"It could also lead to her termination."

"Good. Then she can work elsewhere. Is there a reason why you're watching me?"

"I think you know."

"If I did, I wouldn't bother asking."

When she really looks at me I can see how well she's healing. The bruises are so pale I'm sure other humans don't notice them, and the red in her blue eye is gone. The scratches have healed and formed new baby pink skin. Her eyes move from mine to look at someone behind me.

"Hello officers Ward and Jacoby."

"We got a call about a belligerant customer and you got pointed out to us." Ward tells her.

"Seeing as it's not me he harasses, I can't file any type of report." Krista replies.

"It's not news to us that Donald's a creepy guy, but you can't harass him." Jacoby tells her.

"Um-hm." She hums. "I'm a paying customer and you have no evidence to prove I'm being belligerant and under the first amendment I can say what I want, when I want and where. I haven't created mass hysteria, so I'm within my rights. It's not my fault he doesn't like it but that's life, isn't it?"

"He claims you swatted his backside." Jacoby argues.

"Prove it."

"He also claims you've-" Jacoby begins.

"Prove it. And if you can't, I'm having my mid-day sugar. Thank-you." She doesn't look at the waitress as she sets down the tiny piece of cheese cake.

"What is that?" I ask.

"Cheesecake with cherries." Her head tilts as she watches the orc breathe. "Is something wrong with it?"

"I don't know but that does not smell like cheesecake to me." I tell her.

Her phone buzzes and Amarels face pops up in the middle of her screen. She taps it, reads it and smirks but there's something malicious in it. She responds quickly, sets her phone down and then calls for Donnie, requesting that he join her. She brings the dessert closer to her and breathes in.

"It does smell sour doesn't it?" Krista holds it closer to me. Yes, it does smell a little sour.

When he approaches the table I can see he's not happy.

"Taste this." Krista demands.

"Why?"

"Because I asked you to." She replies simply.

"I'm allergic to cream cheese."

"That's bullshit and we both know it. I saw you go into the kitchen when she took my order. For your sake I hope you haven't contaminated my food."

"Is that a threat?" Donnie questions.

"It is."

He snatches the plate out of her hands, raising the fork to take a bite when I see him sweating. He won't do it.

"I'm going to guess visine eye drops for 100?" Krista speaks.

"I just wanted you to leave." Donnie admits softly.

"Well, you wanted to get away from her and you've got your wish. That's grounds for arrest. Hands behind your back please." Jacoby commands.

"And you called the cops at the same time? You didn't think that through did you?" She coos.

Donnie responds by stabbing her in the back with the fork and before Jacoby can grab her, she's out of her chair and she's punched him so hard in the gut he's on the floor heaving.

"Oh my god . . . I feel like I'm gonna hurl."

"Hands off him. Even if he had that one coming." Ward points at her.

"She assaulted me." He groans.

While he's on his hands and knees and puts her foot on his ass and pushes him.

"You said hands off. I didn't use my hands." She reaches behind her with one arm and then the other. "Can someone pull that out please?"

"Leave it in until a doctor can look at you." I tell her.

"Uh, no. It had cheese cake on it. Whatever's on the fork is now getting in my blood stream. Take it out."

"You'll bleed more." I tell her, though I think she knows that.

"Amarel!" Krista calls.

"I'm right here. Don't scream. I saw him talking with Tracy and hovering over your plate. I don't trust either of them as far as you can throw me. Hold still."

Krista remains still and Amarel can't do it.

"I'm sorry. I hate blood."

"I'll do it." I pluck the napkin off the table and press it to her shoulder as soon as I remove the fork. "I'll take you

to the ER to be seen immediately. What did you attempt to poison her with?" I question Donnie.

"Visine eye drops."

"You're disgusting." I sneer and it has zero effect on him.

"You just had to harass him, didn't you?" Amarel growls.

"You just have to be a whiner, don't you? You hate your job. You hate your boss. But you do nothing to change that. Excuse me for returning the favor for once."

Amarel pouts. "It just bugs me. It all bugs me. Does this mean the restaurant will be closing? Without him here, there is no manager on duty."

"Then that's a yes and we'll be needing to speak with this Tracy." Ward tells her. "Lets go."

"She assaulted me!"

"You stabbed me with a fork."

"You sexually harassed me!"

"In your ever so famous words, you've got no proof of that."

"You planned this didn't you?" I ask.

"Not entirely. I did aim to piss him off enough to hit me."

"You do know I am an FBI agent, right?"

Her brows raise and then she looks impish with the slightest of smiles that grows into a grin.

"Last I new pissing on someone wasn't a federal offense."

"No, it just makes you an asshole." Ward tells her.

"Everyone's got one." Her response makes both the officers snicker.

"You're terrible." I tell her.

"You should see me when I'm angry. This is yours?"

"Obviously."

"Can I drive?"

"No."

"Aw." She coos as she seats herself in the front passenger seat of my Ferrari. I have a need for speed.

"You like cars?"

"I prefer American muscle but I like Italian too. I never knew an elf could get motion sickness until I took Amarel to the track with me."

I smile. "It's not unheard of but it happens. You have a very high tolerance for pain."

"Everyone handles it differently."

She doesn't attempt to make conversation or small talk me to death. When we enter, the nurse on duty must know her.

"What now?"

"Someone stabbed me with a fork."

"That had visine eye drops on it. I do not know what that does to a human." I add.

"It makes them ill and can cause a slew of complications related to their heart rate and breathing. How do you feel?"

"Not bad. I'd still like to slap Donnie repeatedly but my heart rate's fine." She explains what medications she's on and why and then the nurse begins to lead her to a room.

"You don't have to wait on me. I'm gonna text Amarel. She can come with my truck."

"I insist."

"You okay with him in here?" The nurse asks Krista.

"I'm sure my physiology doesn't differ that much from what he's already seen." She adjusts her t-shirt so it rests over her shoulders and covers the front of her.

After a knock, a head pokes into the room.

"Just another for your collection, huh?"

"Hey Dr. Dick. How is it I can never avoid you?"

"Because I live here. More or less. Student loans won't pay themselves. Who'd you anger this time?"

Dr. Dick is an average looking human that I'm guessing is somewhere between 25 and 30, brunette, and has a swimmers build.

"Amarel's boss."

"He still harassing her?"

"He's started groping her again. I don't think punching him in the head the last time got my message past his thick skull."

"You should just report it."

"I tried that. And I got the if it's not you, you can't do anything about it digging for gold in there?"

"What was on that fork?"

"Cheesecake and visine."

"Visine. Idiots." He sighs. "Why won't she get another job?"

"Because he's not always there. She likes it there enough to stay. She just doesn't like him. People don't quit the job. They quit their boss."

"Pretty much. I don't think you'll need stitches since it's so small. Just keep it clean, keep it covered, and you'll live."

He takes her vitals again and tells her to come in if anything changes.

"Or you can stick around for observation." He suggests.

"I'll be in the lobby for a while. They had to close the restaurant so Amarel's going to come get me and bitch all the way home."

"Are you two a thing?"

"Dick, we are not friends. You are my doctor and I am your patient and seeing as it's not you I'm fucking, who I fuck isn't your business. Step behind the line."

"Or what? You'll punish me?" He leans down closer to her face and she leans her head back farther away from him.

"So much you'll need a doctor. When are you gonna find another tree to bark up?"

"What can I say? I like mean girls. My girlfriend in college, she was always so mean and it only made me like her more." Dr. Dick sighs.

"That sounds like a psychological issue you should be talking to a shrink about."

"See? You're mean. But under it all there's just,"

She makes a face that makes me think she's bored or heard this a hundred times before.

"What? Let me hear it. Someone dying to be a sweetheart? And full of rainbows and buttercups?"

"So much pain but I see you."

"Yeah?" Krista flicks him in the nose. "How's that vision now?"

"Blurry. Doctor abuse."

"There's the FBI. Complain to him."

"You are very confident he won't." I say.

"Because he knows he's out of line asking about my sex life when there's no medical need for it." She is first to step out of the room and I immediately hear,

"You!"

"Me!"

"Sometimes I wanna slap the attitude right out of you!" She slaps her on the back where she was stabbed.

"Friend abuse."

"You're gonna get me fired." Amarel growls.

"Good! Then I can stop hearing about how you dread working there. I'm done with the subject, Amarel. One more time and I'll do something horrible to you. Now get in the car! We're going to the PD because I know they're gonna wanna talk."

"Truck."

"Vehicle. Smart ass. Thank-you Agent Kandomere, but for future reference, I don't need an escort."

"Maybe he liiiiikes you." Amarel teases.

"What is with you and finding me a boyfriend?" Krista is so petite she has to climb up into her truck before sitting in the seat.

"Because in the years I've known you you haven't brought anyone home or stayed out overnight. Are you a virgin?"

"Yes, Amarel." Krista sighs. "That's my problem. I'm the 30-year old virgin. Please," As she speaks she becomes more desperate. "help me!" Grasping her friend by the arms.

"Now you're messing with me."

"Yep."

"It wouldn't kill you to date." Amarel argues.

"I don't see you chasing after anyone so stop focusing on my life and worry about your own."

"Because I'm a lower-class elf that's considered a traitor and an abomination and my species hates me."

"So find a human, date an orc, have weird mer-babies, I don't care but stop focusing on my private life and lack there of. If I wanted a boyfriend, I'd have one."

Someone whips into the parking lot and I hear Krista yell,

"It's a parking lot you dick-bag!"

The driver gives her the finger and she gives it right back.

"Perhaps it is your filthy mouth that drives everyone away!" I call and she responds to me by sticking her tongue out at me like a child.

"Real mature." Amarel deadpans.

"I know you are but what am I?" Krista retorts with a childish tone of voice.

"An overgrown girl-child in a woman's body."

Yes, yes she is. So what is wrong with me and this desire to see her again?


	4. Chapter 4

My partner, Montehugh, has found himself a girlfriend. She is a busty human with firey red hair and he met her months ago, but is just now sharing the information with me. We do not talk much about our private lives or lack there of due to the job. I do not know what she does, but I also do not care. I do however care that she is here celebraiting with us after work. It's unusual, and I suspect that Montehugh choose this place because she likes it.

I have given up on Krista being a threat to anyone. She has shown no signs of hostility and no desire to seek out a wand. We have one but there are still more out there. I have no doubt Inferni will try to get this wand out of it's hiding place.

This place is loud and I don't like it. He says it is just like the 70's. Funny how Montehugh wasn't alive long enough to remember the 70's, but yes, he's right. It is very similar to the 70's here. Live music that is now considered classic rock. I did not care for it then and I do not care for it now. Or their dancing that is more like dry humping.

"Hey, isn't that Krista?"

She's here with Amarel but does not appear to be thrilled. Amarel is disappearing into the throng of dancing people while she heads directly to the bar where she orders something blue with a little umbrella in it.

"You gonna go say hi?" Sherry- Montehugh's girlfriend coos.

"I think I'm going home. This is not quite my idea of a good party."

"I think you've been in your shell a little too long, elf. Dance, have a drink. You haven't done either all night. Or is it just cause they're human?" Sherry is bold for a human. I will give her that much.

"Good night Montehugh, Sherry." I am almost to the door when I hear her.

"I'm not interested. Don't touch me."

There's some inebriated fool attempting to coax her off the bar stool for a dance. She sweeps her arm up and brushes his hand away, and she's firmer this time she's not interested and,

"If you touch me again I'm gonna put your lights out."

I approach him from behind and speak,

"She said she's not interested. That means you leave her alone."

"And who are you to make me?"

"FBI."

He takes his loss and decides to wonder off to bother someone else.

"I thought you gave up stalking me last week."

"I did. This is purely coincidence." I take a seat on the bar stool next to her.

"I would hope so. Or I'd have to do something very bad to you."

I chuckle. "You do not lose often do you?"

"Nope. Then again I mostly deal with humans and the playing fields pretty equal."

"Yes. My partner felt the need to show me your mixed gender MMA videos. Where did you learn that?"

"Various teachers. When they learned I had an interest in it they didn't let the opportunity waste."

I had not noticed it before but her ears are odd. They're not like an elves but not entirely human either. I've seen some mortals with slightly pointed ears, but interbreeding is so very rare it's almost unheard of. After all, who would want to live after their soulmate is gone? And we elves can live for several hundred years.

"Finish a case?"

"Yes. Then Montehugh felt the need to get drinks here. I think he just wanted to see his female friend and not have any complaints."

"The ginger?"  
"Yes."

"Hoe."

"Pardon?" My head tilts at her.

"Hoe. She's easy."

"How would you know?" I ask.

"She lives in one of my apartment buildings and she's been arrested for prostitution. Neighbores are always commenting on how her door revolves."

"You're sure you are not mistaken?"

"Busty ginger goes by the name of Sherry? Freckles, slight overbite? And a fading southern accent?"  
I breathe in deeply.

"Don't worry about telling him. He'll have to figure it out himself. It would just cause a riff between you two." She speaks.

"You sound like you speak from experience."

"Once upon a time I had friends. Those friends liked to hump my boyfriends and when they had their own and I'd tell them such things, they'd accuse me of trying to get in between them. So in the end, none of them ever stayed together and they choose his word over 10-years of trust and friendship. Their loss."

"What is that?" I ask.

"Blue Hawaiian. Would you like to try it?"

"It smells nice. Like pineapples."

She reaches over and plucks a straw out of a cup behind the counter.  
"Afraid of elf germs?"

She taps her index finger on the silver crest on my chest. I take a sip and it's not bad. Perhaps more pineapple and less cocoanut.

"Most that wear that usually look at me like I'm an insect. Wouldn't want to contaminate you with my human germs." She brushes my cheek with her index finger. "Human germs."

I smile briefly. What is wrong with me?

"Again, bold."

"I don't think so. I just don't cater to people. Aside from Amarel, elves treat me as something inferior."

"You don't think you are?"

"I think it's stupid to make a generalization of an entire species. If humans were that inferior, don't you think we'd have died out by now?" She has a point.

"Good point. But you can't deny biology."

"I never did."

"Is something on me?" I ask.

"No. Why?"

"You keep staring. At my chest."  
"I think I made that." Referring to my vest. This is my favorite blue one with the diamond blue-on-blue pattern.

"This was made by ." I inform her.

There's a slow smile.

"You are ?"  
"Krista-Anne Isabella. Apparently they couldn't make up their mind between who's grandma I was going to get married after. I market my clothing as because people assume it's a man. I sold quite a bit to Suiadan."

"Owner of the Green Isle."

"Um-hm." She hums with a little nod.

"He must like you. He is very picky about his shop. I've seen him make designers cry."

She smiles. "He said I'm very bold. When we finally met face to face, I was waiting on him and he thought he was waiting on me. He sat down directly behind me, bitched about how I was late, and when I introduced myself he looked at me like I was a bug that landed in his drink. I showed him my ID, my portfolio, and he continued to look down his nose at me. I dumped his glass in his lap and told him he can go to hell, I'll find someone else. I think he must have assumed I was an elf and to learn otherwise left him gobsmacked."

"I bet. He is a speciest."

"I'm aware. We have some intense discussions that leaves his wife looking at me like I spit on her grave."

"I could go for intense discussion if you'd like to leave."

"Is that a euphemism?" She asks.

"No. You do not read people well, do you?"

"I'm a little socially retarded. And males have a habit of being vague. They say one thing, mean another. Their body language says something else and I misread people."

"You're safe. I am not in the habit of picking up women in bars." I tell her.

"Is that because I'm human or is that irrelevant?"

"That is a loaded question."

"You said you wanted intense discussion. What do you think Suiadan and I discuss? The weather?" She has another sip of her drink before offering it to me and I finish the other half.

"I have-"

"No you don't. It's already paid for." She tells me when I am ready to pay for her tab.

"Heels?"

"I lost a bet. It's how she got me out of the house and poured into this."

"It's not bad."

She wrinkles her nose. "I'm much more of a pajamas kinda girl. Or undies. You know that."

"You are forever going to tease me, aren't you?"

"I wouldn't say forever. I'm sure you're gonna outlive me, so until you die, yes."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**   
**Crush**   
**Kandomere's POV**

DeStefano is grinning like a fool and it's starting to get on my nerves.

"He must've gotten laid, as we humans say. I found something interesting on your girl." DeStefano tells me.

"What girl would that be? And since when do I have one?"

DeStefano, in an attempt to win me over, has become a brown nose after his failure to procure all information on Krista-Anne Isabella Barton.

"And you're never gonna believe it. I still don't." Montehugh tells me as he appears behind DeStefano.

I motion for them to come in and DeStefano flips the envelope open and shows me a picture. An incredibly old black and white picture with a wide border, and judging by the quality of the paper, it's a century or more in age.

"It's just a girl."

"I used ageing technology to give her a few years and facial markers as a comparison to her drivers license.  
There's no way this is not her."

"Where did this picture come from?" I ask.

"Remember the BPRD?" Montehugh asks me.

"The Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense?" That can not be.

"Yep. When Hellboy supposedly went back to his realm, their entire base of operations was useless without their star player and with Nuada dead, they closed it down. I found that in their archives. She was found wondering around outside a Nazi base that had been abandoned in the first year of the great war. She had no recollection of where she was or how she got there."  
When I think DeStefano is done, he isn't. He takes a deep breathe in and continues.

"Then I found this one. It's the only other picture of her. I did the same ageing on this picture, compared it, and unless she's got a twin, that has to be her. But I have no explanation on why she hasn't aged in the past 100 years."

"Doppleganger. Clone perhaps?" I ask.

"I checked. No clones but doppleganger's still possible, I guess. But how unlikely is that?"

"Anything else?"

"Conveniently for them there was a fire that destroyed everything while they had begun going digital. That's why I don't think this is a coincidence. I'm here for permission to view the surviving files. Thing is, they're in New York City. I need your permission to leave to view them, as it's also above my clearance level." DeStefano explains.

"Where do I sign?"

He flips the clipboard around. I read it, sign it and hopefully it will clear up the questions I now have running through my head about the mortal I can't stop thinking about.

Mid day tea and Montehugh wants to stop at some new place he says is a cross between a grilled bistro, cafe and bakery.

"You just wanted to see your girlfriend again." I accuse my partner.

"Sorry, not sorry. The woman's crawling under my skin and I think I'm liking that."

"Is she a waitress?" I ask.

"Server."

"Same difference."

"She's also going back to school to be a pastry chef."

"Lighter." I know that voice. "I said lighter! I've seen orcs with a lighter touch than this!"

"I'll touch ya lighter!" Sherry bellows.

"And I'll touch you right back. Don't get pissy. If I don't correct you then you don't do it right and would you rather fail your exam?"

"No."

"Then make a bitch face but fucking do it right."

"How'd you get good at this? You've never attended school for it."

"Practice. Practice and more practice and once upon a time you could see it here, here," She touches her middle, her thighs, "And here." Her backside.

"I can still kinda see it there."

"And yours is bigger than mine so you have no room to talk."

"Think she's on break?"

"She's in the kitchen with Krista." I explain because I know Montehugh can not hear their conversation.

"You can hear that?" He asks me.

"Employees only." One of her workers tells me.

"FBI."

"FBI doesn't warrant you access wherever, whenever it pleases you. It's an abuse of power." Krista tells me and then slaps Sherry's hand with a bamboo stick. "No rewards until you're finished."

"Did you just say I can't kiss my boyfriend?"

Followed by another slap with that stick.

"You wanted my help because you're failing. Failures get no rewards. He's gonna stand over there or he'll get slapped with this too."

"Abuse of a federal agent." I warn her.

She looks me dead in my eyes and retorts, "Then report me."

"That, in case you're not sure, is what we humans call flirting." Montehugh tells me.

"That, since you obviously don't know me at all, is called being a smart ass. Excuse me." Krista moves to the doorway that divides the kitchen and the sales counter. "I don't know who put this on but they're gonna get slapped! Who put stripper music on my stereo!"

"It's not stripper music!"

"Give it to me I'm worth it is stripper music. I feel I should be throwing dollars at half naked people. This is a restaurant." She slaps my partner on the shoulder when he takes a step towards Sherry. "Not a strip club." She finishes before looking at Montehugh. "What'd I say?"

"Don't make ma arrest you."

"Don't make a fool of yourself to your superiors."

"There. I'm done. You satisfied?" Sherry barks.

Krista goes to the counter and inspects the cake.

"For now. Amazing work you do when you want something. You can go on break now." She takes the tray of little cakes to the display in the front.

"Can you ring me out?" Sherry asks as they step outside the kitchen.

"Register 4." Krista tells her and turns the light on.

Those in line moan and groan.

"Oh stop! I'm on break and I only get 15 minutes. I'm not wasting it in line." Sherry barks.

"You have Elvish tea?"

"To the city-visiting elf's pleasure, yes. After so many had petitioned for it, I cracked Tenai like a toothpick. What would you like?" She asks me.

"Surprise me."

"Don't say that. She might spit in it."

"Very funny Sherry. Anything else?" Krista asks.

"What's that dwarf collection? They're so small." I speak as I look through the top row.

"Dwarvish cakes. They are a bit heavy on the spice but they're delicious." Krista answers.

"One of those."

She keys it on the register. "I only do that to you, Sherry." She must be referring to the spit comment. "Chip or tap when you're ready and have a seat. I'll bring it out to you."  
We sit at a small four-person table and while they are canoodling, I am watching her. She's fast, efficient, but will she get my tea right?

The place is divided and connected by two archways. On the other side is the bistro where I can smell delicious grilled meats and crisp salads.

Krista serves me first, then Montehugh and Sherry. Obviously she has delt with elves extensively.

"FYI, studies show there's a lotta fecal matter in facial hair." She lightly pats Sherry on the back. "Kissy, kissy."

"You're an ass!" Sherry exclaims.

"I'm also your boss and that's strike one. I can help who's next!" Krista yells from register four.

"When did she become your boss?" Montehugh asks Sherry.

"About a week ago. The disco wasn't working out. All that alcohol was tempting me so I quit, but not having a job was a violation of my lease. Kris said I had until the end of the month to find a new job since I had already paid for the months rent. She opened this place just last week and I figured, why not? She's not a slum lord and it offered health benefits. The disco didn't. AND since I'm returning to school, she's offered me extra hours here which counts towards my hours spent at school because it's hands-on learning."

Sherry continues to run away with her mouth and her voice drifts to the back of my mind. This place is a hub. Humans, elves, orcs, all working together under one roof and within the same place, but there is peace. No fighting. No arguing. Just peace. I enjoy my tea. It's perfect. Not piping hot, not cold, and not a single leaf in my cup.

She is quite graceful for a human. It must have been all those years of ballet and gymnastics. Trouble is, I can't find any proof she had taken dance class or gymnastics. The only proof of anything that she exists is she has a social security number and she's attended university during her years as a dancer and gymnast. Her career as a fighter was short lived- only two years- before she retired.

"This song so old!" A worker with black & red hair, Erin, comments.

"You're so old!" Replies a younger human. Her ID tag says Marlena and she has more artificial holes in her face than natural ones.

"How old is this?" The younger Orc, Kevin, asks.

"Like 2000 old." Erin answers.

"Who puts this girly crap on my stereo?!" Krista raises her voice.

You know everything that I'm afraid of  
You do everything I wish I did  
Everybody wants you  
Everybody loves you

I know, I should tell you how I feel.  
I wish everyone would disappear  
Every time you call me I'm to scared to be me  
And I'm too shy to say

Ooh, I got a crush on you  
I hope you feel the way that I do  
I get a rush when I'm with you  
Ooh, I got a crush on you  
A crush on you

"You need some romance? Are you really female?" Marlena asks.

"Marlena! That's not nice." Erin says.

"What? She's so . . ." Marlena trails off when she feels Krista's presence behind her.

"A great boss." Marlena finishes.

"Good save. And just because I'm female doesn't mean I'm live for romance and it's always love songs in here."  
"I don't know. That orc music sounds like war drums." Marlena comments.

"Loosely translated, the one she's always playing is talking about making love in fields of tulips." Her name tag reads Vicki and her hair is dyed black, red and vibrant blue. "And the verse before that is about stealing her from another guy who don't deserve her, and later he kills him and they have gorgeous orc babies."

"That's weird." Marlena says.

"It's actually a reference about his grandfather. Grandpa had to move, gran couldn't go with him. Years later, he's back and is looking for a wife so he steals her back. Kinda sweet, isn't it?" The older orc, female, name tag says Lee speaks.

"Minus the line about fucking in a field and I'm not even going to read the rest out loud. That's just TMI." Marlena puts her phone back in her pocket. "Ooh, flowers."

"Delivery for K. Barton."

"Ooh, from," Marlena begins but Krista snatches the card out of Marlenas fingers, all the while exclaiming,

"Don't touch it! It's mine!"

"From . . . from I can't even read that. Is that Elvish?"

She shoos her inquisitive coworkers away before looking at the card.

Tulips. She signs for them and breathes them in before plucking the envelope from the courier. I watch her eyes move side to side and then I notice something new. Her ears flick. That is not a human trait.  
"I got it!" Kevin's ears wiggle.

Krista looks up.

"It's an orc, isn't it? And it's not grandpa's story, it's yours. Fucking in a field of tulips? And you get tulips delivered to you? C'mon, Kris. It's not rocket science." Lee says.

Krista smiles. "I'll admit I have a bit of a size kink, but it's not big enough to go running with orcs."

She pulls away when Erin tries to take the letter from her and it ends up crinkled in Krista's hand.

"If you two don't stop behaving like children, I'll make you stand in the corner."

"I wouldn't push her. She'll do it too. Tulips again?" Amarel comments. "No card?"

"Tulips. I like tulips." Krista says it plainly.

"She won't let us see the card or say who it's from." Erin tells Amarel.

"How do you know I didn't send them to myself?" Krista questions.

"Because you're not that pathetic." Amarel replies with a grin. "And the first time I ever saw them getting delivered, you were surprised."

"Don't you have a delivery to be doing?" Krista asks Amarel, as she hops up on to the counter and puts one foot up.

"Nope. It's finished." Amarel replies.

Krista's other leg goes up and stops Amarel from getting closer.

"That's close enough."

"I need a napkin."

"Use another dispenser."

"Well played. You can't hide it from me forever. We live together, remember?" Amarel reminds.

"And even elves sleep some time."

"Did her ears wiggle?"

"What? We can't do that." Erin says.

"It's an obsolete muscle on the side of the head. Wiggle, wiggle. Not all humans have it. I do." Krista explains.

"And webbed feet. Which is why she won't wear sandals." Amarel shares.

"Just for that, I'm touching you with them later."

"No."

"Yes! When you least expect it. Like when you're cooking, when you're taking your little baths, and like last time, you didn't know I was in the swimming pool."

"I thought you were a mermaid!"

"Mermaids can come on land?" Marlena asks out loud.

"Better question is, do mermaids actually exist?" Erin speaks.

"If I don't see more working and less talking, I've got a slew of other people I'm sure would love your job."  
That lights a fire under all of them. She unwrinkles it and reads through it again.

"Kandomere?"

I hear Montehugh when he puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Yes?"

"You're spacing out. Something on your mind?"

"Ready to go?" I ask him.

"Ready when you are, boss."

"You sure you don't want to get a date first?" Sherry asks me with a smug look on her face.

"What makes you think I want one?"

"Lets see, you're becoming increasingly distracted and whenever we run into her, you're off in lala land." Montehugh has a point that I will not acknowledge out loud.

"I think you're reading far too much into something that does not exist. Say good-bye to your girlfriend and late go."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**   
**The Worst Luck In Love**   
**Kandomere POV**

How has he been granted access to my city? I know of him. He is criminal! Out of the car behind him steps Krista! Is he her tulip giver? Does she not know what he does?

Gods, she looks stunning. I almost did not recognize her. There are no jeans and a t-shirt today, or a general store dress, no. This one is one of her own make. The night I found out she was , I had to review her collection. This is something from her spring collection years ago, but always relevant. It's black with a dusting of orange and white spots like a monarch butterfly.

They are seated immediately and order water to drink. I am seated close but not too close. They speak of what has gone on since their parting: the opening of Kris's Korner, her restaurant and cafe, and the event with Donnie. She does not even mention the event that caused us to meet.

It makes me so angry! Why! His filthy hands on her and the kissing.

"What the fuck is this Vadim! Is this what you've been hiding from me? Because I know it wasn't me that got flowers! I checked the credit card statements."

"Can I help you?"

She is a tall, stick thin human with skin the color of paste and short platinum blond hair. It is rare on mortals. So rare in fact that most dye their hair that color. The shade of red highlights in her hair matches her eye shadow and lipstick.

"Yes! You can! You can start by keeping your hands off my husband."

Krista's demeanor changes in an instant and I can see her ear flick.

"Looks like the security is slacking if they let you in here. Don't go getting angry. I can explain."

"You're married. What is there to explain?" Krista retorts.

"Because she had my child."

"And there are millions- literally millions of people that don't marry just because they had a child together." Krista hisses.

"Here, but you forget I am from elsewhere and it was the right thing to do."

"Well too bad! I'm not going to be your side dish. She can keep you." Krista is final in that.

"You're damn right I will, you home wrecker."

Kristas head inclines slightly and there's a flick in her ear again.

"You keep your mouth shut. You're the scum sucking whore here. Go wait outside. I will deal with you later." He waves his hand in a dismissive manner at his wife.

"FYI, there's no such thing as a home wrecker. He wears no ring and has never mentioned you or a child. If someone wrecks your home, it's because your man opened the door and invited her in. Fuck you," She points at the wife, "and fuck you twice." Krista picks up the waters off the tray before the waitress can set them down and splashes them both in the face simultaneously.

"Okay, I deserved that one, but-"

"Nope!" Krista sets the cups on the table. "Bye!"

"I drove you here!"

"I'll walk home!"

When he ignores his wife, she becomes even more enraged. He grasps Krista by the arm and his wife is aiming for him but hits Krista instead. She rips her hand out of Vadims grasp and punches the blond so hard her head whiplashes to and fro, and she just sits down to cry.

"Tend to your wife and lose my phone number."

He barks at her in a European language I don't understand, but she does. He grabs Krista again, harder this time and when she slaps him, he slaps her back.

"That is enough!" I leave my table and get between him and her.

"Stay out of it, elf."

Behind me I can hear Krista sigh.

"FBI, hello Vadim Golgol. I do believe you have two warrants and are in violation of your parole."

Golgol looks past me at Krista, "Did you set me up?" He sounds truly surprised and hurt.

"No, but considering what a dick you are this is a really nice perk."

He's growling and his wife is still on the floor crying as I read them their rights.

"Oh god, I'm bleeding!"

"Fix yourself." One of the elves hiss and drops a napkin on Vadims wife.

"Want a hand with that?"

"Krista," Golgol begins.

"Don't talk to me. You, walk. Hit me again and I'll hit you back." Krista is dragging Vadims wife along with us.

"You a cop or something? He always did have the worst taste in women." She asks Krista.

"He married you, didn't he?"

"Fuck you."

"No thanks. You're not my type."

"Is this because I'm Ukranian mob?" Vadim asks Krista.

"If you think I'm angry about that you're much more stupid than I thought. Lose my phone number. Forget my address and this," She motions between them with her finger. "It's dead. Get in the car and try not to bleed everywhere."

"I can take you home. After I take them to HQ."

"Please." This is the first time I've seen her look deflated.

"Krista," Vadim begins.

"Silence."

"The FBI has spoken. So shut up. I don't wanna hear it. There is nothing you can say to fix this." Krista tone is final but he still continues.

"Our relationship is non-existant. She has her affairs and I have mine. We're only together for the sake of my daughter."

"Riight. Y'see, I don't get why people do that. You really think she's gonna be oblivious to everything you two do? She's going to grow up with the idea that her parents hate each other and are trapped with each other because of her, and adultery is fine."

"And what would you do?" He hisses.

"Raise her alone."

"Yeah, right. Children cost money, darling. Don't think I don't know why you are with Vadim." His wife speaks with a sneer.

"I enjoyed his company. I have my own money, fuck you very much."

"Language." I tease.

"You run with FBI now? It would appear we didn't know each other at all."

"Believe what you want. I owe you no explanations anymore." Krista replies.  
They're conversing in the back and I understand none of it.

"What are they talking about?"

"She wants me dead. He told her if she does anything and I die, so will she. He says his lawyer will take care of everything."

"Amarel teach you?"

"Yes."

"You speak it well."

"I would hope so. She's slap me with a stick when I got it wrong."

After watching her videos, I can very much imagine Amarel slapping her with a stick much like she had done to Sherry.

"Stay here." I tell her and step out of my car.

I take them in, list the charges and hand them off to someone else for processing. When I return, her ears flick and her face has turned a bright shade of red.

"Crying isn't a sign of weakness."

"That's your opinion and I wouldn't give either of them the satisfaction of seeing it."

"Were you at least aware of his occupation?" I ask.

"Yes."

"You were willing to take that risk?"

"Mobs were formed by people that had no other means. I was an orphan half my life. Given that great start, I could have just as easily ended up in the criminal life."

She breathes deeply and sits with her arms folded across her chest.

"Can't be any worse than my previous relationship."

"How did that end?"

"Fili Durinson. Car!"

She puts both hands out and I swerve to avoid hitting the car in front of us.

"As in Prince Fili Durinson?"

"Yeah. Remember that attempt on his life and there was a redhead with him?"

"That was you?"

"I had dyed my hair at his request. In case things went sideways, I'd be less recognizable. After that, I broke it off. I'd rather he be alive than dead."

"That . . . you are very unfortunate in love it seems."

She shrugs. "Roses are red, love is dead and weddings are funerals with cake."

"That's morbid."

"And true. Everything ends eventually. Though the previous relationship was a good ending."

"Before Fili?"

"His name was Nick. No, not Orc Nick. He's human. He decided to go behind my back with a friend of almost more than a decade. They're now married, morbidly obese, and age was not kind to him. I still look exactly the same and they were at the grill the other day, and she kicked him because he was drooling."

"As he should. You are stunning." I reply honestly.

I can feel her eyes on me.

"For a mortal."

"From complement to veiled insult, but thank-you. I know I'm adorable."

"Narcissism isn't a likable trait."

"Nor is being a superior weenie. I fail to see the difference. Is thinking your species is superior to all not a sign of narcissism?" She questions me with a smile.

"Stop smiling."

"I do believe I win."

"For now. Would you like to talk about it?"

"I hardly girl talk with Amarel and I'm not the sharing my emotions type."

"So I am learning."

"You don't strike me as that type either so you can hush."

Hush. That's her more polite way of telling someone to shut up.

"I am an FBI agent. People would lie to use my personal life against me. What is your excuse."

"You think because I'm not in a high risk profession that people would not do the same to me if given the opportunity? I know you're not naive, Kandomere. I was an athlete and celebrity once upon a time. I had no fun with instructors and cameras up my ass, not to mention fans. People already tried the emotional manipulation and blackmail and it didn't end well for them."

"Is that why you retired?"

"That and I was just tired."

"Of life?"

"And people. It's why I'm a shut in. I find dealing with them for extended periods of time is exhausting. Even more so when they're stupid."

"I know the feeling. Do all humans change feelings so quickly?"

"I don't hate him. I hate what he's done. I know the difference. But I'd still like to punch him in the face."

I smile slightly. She's always so dramatic when she voices her violent wishes.

"Always so violent."

"From my understanding of elves, you feel things more intensely. You're really gonna say you've never been so angry you wanted to deck someone?"

"No comment."

Out my peripheral I can see her smile that smile where the tip of her tongue peeks between her teeth.

"How did you meet Fili?"

"He hit me with his car."

"His car?"

"Uh-huh. It was the 90s. I was rollerblading through traffic like a maniac and he was easing out of his spot when he bumped me. The first thing I hear is Kili going, "Fili! You killed her! You know humans are fragile!" He more or less kidnapped me, took me to the hospital to be looked over. Then he decided since he hadn't killed me, he must make it up to me with a date."

"Dwarf hits you with his car and you accept a date with him? How odd."

"He bumped me. It was just enough to push me over. It's not like he deliberately ran me down with his car. And in my defense, he is delicious."

"He's a short, hairy, ill-mannered, cave dwelling-" I stop.

"Yes?"

"Dwarf."

"Well that's your opinion. I'm sure if we saw eye to eye on Fili Durinson, your family would disown you."

"Most likely."

"Besides, have you ever actually met him?"

"No."

"Then you've no room to be talking smack."

"What does that even mean?"

"It means unless you know someone, don't bad mouth them. Thank-you for bringing me home."  
"You are most welcome. Easy on the ice cream, Miss Barton. I know how many humans drown their sorrows in sweets."

She gasps. "Are you calling me fat?!"

That line my partner tells me about has been crossed. Just when I am going to apologize, she smiles.

"Got-cha. FYI, You're not a twiggy elf yourself. Look at those cheeks." She pinches my cheek and makes kiss noises.

"You're a strange human, Krista Barton."

"Kris, I prefer. Krista is so . . . meh."

"Meh?"

"Meh. No more stalking me, Agent Kandomere."

Heels make her not only taller, but she walks differently. More feminine. There's just a little more sway in her hips and I'm reminded once again why I need more she-elves in my life. If only I could find one I actually like.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 **Club Scene + (Omitted) Bedroom Scene**  
 **Kandomere POV**

Montehugh and Sherry are dragging me out to a club with them. When Montehugh hinted that Sherry was bringing Amarel and Krista with him, they didn't have to do much dragging. I know I shouldn't, but I want to see her again. I want to see her on a non-professional level and that frightens and concerns me.

She is mortal. I will outlive her by a century. Maybe more. But I am already at half my lifes expectancy. My parents are beginning to question when I will marry and when they will be grandparents. Interbreeding with a human is viewed as a disgrace by many and the children are not accepted by all. Not to mention it challenges my belief that people should stick to their own kind. She challenges me.

And I like that as much as I hate it.

I like that for a frailer kind, she's strong. She's smart. Her sense of humor is odd but what would I know? Montehugh is the only human I spend the most time with and that is because I'm his partner; I'm stuck with him. His sense of humor is more of a sexual nature, borderlines on perverse. I hate it because it challenges everything I have thought and felt for the past century.

Our conversation we had in my car, for once it was nice to converse with a woman that didn't have an elf fetish that was trying to get into my pants- and it left me wanting more. It has been so long that I can not recall rightly when I last felt that.

I spot Amarel right away. Her curly blond hair piled high on her head and she's in a silver sequined dress. I spot Krista at the bar trying to shrink into the background and failing miserably.

There's a plain looking mortal questioning why she refused his drink and is flat out rejecting him.

"I'm not here to find a date or someone to take home. My girlfriend comes out to party and I don't want her driving drunk."

"Then why are you dressed like that?"

"Excuse me?" Krista's eyes narrow and I can see both ears flick.

"Like that. You're advertising."

Her eyes squint slightly and she's looking at him like the insect that he is.

"I'm sorry, where are the rules about how a woman who looks good must be looking for a man? You think I dress good to impress men? That I can't look good for myself? Because looking good makes me feel good about me? Piss off. And take this with you before I make you wear it."

"You're a fucking cock tease anyway."

"And you're a waste of space." Krista replies smoothly.

"Fucking prude."

"Just because I'm not interested in you doesn't make me a prude. It means I have standards."

"Standards that you do not meet. Move on." I place my hand on her back as I come up behind her.

The muscle in his jaw flexes and I can see he's got more to say.

"Elf whore."

"And?" She says it so nonchalantly that I can see that intimidates him. "Please, in the future, don't mistake me for your sister. Piss off. Your cologne's an assault to my senses. If I wanted to smell a toilet, I'd go sit in the loo."

His cheeks are turning red and his ears too.

"I was waiting for you to hit him."

"Only if he put his hands on me. Can I hug you?"

"Why?"

"Because I want to and it will continue to piss in his cornflakes." She replies with an impish little smirk.

"Yes."

Her head just reaches my chest. Why do you have to smell so good?

"Has his head exploded yet?" I ask.

"If we were cartoons, I think his brains would be on the walls. Is he an ex of yours?"

"No. Just a creep that thinks I dress for mens' attention."

"Ignore him. You're beautiful. A woman should first dress for herself. If she does it right, the only people with a problem will be those that are jealous or intimidated." There's a little twitch in both ears. "May I join you?"

"No date?" She asks me.

"Of course not. As soon as we mentioned you and Amarel were joining us, we didn't have to twist his arm so hard." Sherry tells her. "And look at you! You actually look like a woman!"

"So I don't look like a woman?"

Sherry shrugs. "You're kinda, what's that word that describes both guys and girls?"

"Androgynous." I supply.

"Yeah, that. Some days you're wearing the right clothes and the hair, you kinda look like a pretty boy. But this goth look, it really suits you, Mortisha."

"Mortisha?" I ask Krista.

"It's a human pop culture reference. There's a TV show called The Addams Family. Mortisha's the mother and she's known for being a tall, stick thin woman with pasty skin, black hair and most importantly, a black dress that outlines her figure. If anything, I'm Wednesday, the daughter. She's known for her braided pigtails, stoic expression, morbid sense of humor and black dress with a white collar."

Tonight it's a black and white number that is short in the front and longer in the back. White with a black lace overlay and lace sleeves.

After their shots, Sherry & Montehugh take their drinks elsewhere and I am alone with her again.

"They're trying to get you laid, aren't they?"

"Montehugh has been trying and failing for years. What are you having?"

Krista turns on the stool and replies to the bartender, "Blue Hawaiian, please."

"White wine."

Our conversation drifts to and fro between meaningful and us tearing apart these humans choice in clothing and how they dance like epileptics twitch.

"You have an inner snob after all."

"Sssh, it's my secret. I'm half snob, half bitch. This is me actually pleasantly relaxed."

"I do believe you are drunk."

"I am not drunk until my clothes are coming off or I'm singing, and that guy who tried to buy me a drink becomes attractive."

"And is he now?" I ask.

She looks over at him and makes a face that tells me no.

"What about me?"

There's surprise but only for a moment. Then, in a bold move, she leans forward and kisses me just like I hoped she would. Montehugh insisted I make the first move, but she is so hard to read that I just wanted to be certain. I could not make a fool of myself.

Not too far away from us, I hear Montehugh and Sherry whistling and hooting.

"I think you may be right?"

"About what?" I ask.

"Being a little drunk. I am not usually that bold."

"Then perhaps I should take you home?"

With me being this close, I can see her eyes refocus.

"Are you implying what I think you are?"

"That I intend to take you home and out of that dress, yes. Any objections?"

"None." There's an impish smile. "Just one question, do you prefer the top or the bottom?"

"You will just have to wait and see."

A / N : /works/13314624/chapters/31059147

Some content for this chapter may be too explicit for , so if you would like to view the sex scene between Kandomere and Krista, you can visit the link above. If not, use thy imagination.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
Strings PT 1  
Kandomere POV

She's sound asleep. I must have worn her out. For a moment there I thought I was going to succeed in making her faint from pleasure, but I'll take this. Woman has stamina I was not expecting and as fun as it was- not to mention the most pleasure I've felt in too long- it's left me questioning things.

And I don't like that.

I ease out of the bed and get dressed. Amarel isn't here. I don't her hear in the house and the only thing here is the fairies. They're now scarfing down the fruit and cucumber from last night that managed to survive our snacking.

Gods, what is wrong with me? What was I thinking? She's mortal. They're clingy. Now this is what Montehugh must mean by guilty pleasure. I had my pleasure and now I feel guilty. I could easily blame it on us both being somewhat drunk, but fact is, she was just as aware of things as I was.

By the second round we were not drunk. By the third, she was starting to feel exhausted and by the end I was seeing stars, my knees were starting to ache and we were both becoming over sensitive. But it was like a drug and neither of us could get enough of each other.

She's so beautiful. But what have I done? There are bruises on her wrists, her arms, her hips, and I've left hickies everywhere. She's currently asleep half on her side, hugging her pillow with one knee pulled up to her chest. I adjust the blanket to cover more of her before I show myself out. 

I wonder if she thinks I'm avoiding her. Am I?

"You fucked her, didn't you?"

"Who?"

"I think we both know who. You've been avoiding going to the coffee shop and everything bright related for the past week. You really think I wouldn't notice? Everyone's got a tell. There's a spring in your step for a few days and then you just . . . Sherry thinks you're depressed. I can't really tell since you've always got poker face."

"Good night Montehugh."

"So you got it on with a human. It's not the end of the world. She hasn't been clinging to you, has she?"

"No."

"Even better. If she hasn't gotten clingy, you're in the safe. You had some fun and she's not looking for anything else."

"What makes you so certain?"

"Because that's how women are. If they're looking for more, they'll get clingy. I went to college and have three sisters. I think I know a little bit more about human women than you do."

"I hope your right. I'm ready to shoot someone for my tea."

"I'm gonna grab some dinner. You wanna come with?"

"At the grill?"

"Yes. At the grill. I'm always working and Sherry's got school and work so we get what we can. You never know. She might be ready for some more fun with no strings attached."

"I think Sherry is right and you're a pig."

"You coming or not?"

"Yes."

We take our separate cars and meet there. I spot her before I even cross the street. She's outside taking orders at a table full of orcs. She goes back inside through the side entrance and when I enter I can see her with a massive cake that's decorated in camouflage. Must be someones birthday. It seems to be universal in every species that sweets are for the occasion. Now I can hear them singing.

"Absolutely horrible isn't it?" Sherry stands and gives Montehugh a kiss on the cheek.

"Like nails on a chalkboard. Enjoy each other. I'm not afraid to dine alone."

"Are you sure?" Sherry asks me.

"Positive."

I find myself a two-person table and sit. I'm watching her through the windows with the orcs when I hear Amarel.

"Hey you! Y'know, she's still sporting bruises from last week. Don't be so rough with my human. They're fragile."

"Caesar salad, easy on the dressing and the beef wellington with mashed potatoes and chives, and the maple glazed carrots. I'd like it served all together."

"And to drink?"

"Red wine."

"Alrighty. I'll be back with your wine. Did you want to pre-order dessert?"

"No thank-you."

The sweets I want I don't believe will be on the menu. Listen to me! Referring to her as a sweet thing . . . sweetest I've ever tasted. There I go again!

She pauses by a table and they request refills. I watch her go to and fro and she doesn't seem to have noticed I'm here.

I go to the loo and that's when she appears out of thin air.

"Are you avoiding me?"

"What makes you think that?"

She gives me a look. "Don't play dumb with me. We both know you're not and you suck at it."

I motion with my hand for her to join me and walk her to my table. Amarel has come and gone and left me the bottle.

"Possibly. With the stories I've heard, I'm concerned you have read too much into it."

"Then let me clear things up. I was frisky, you were available and interested. It's not in my nature to take people home so I doubt it will happen again. I expect nothing from you other than the confidentiality of the bedroom, meaning what goes on in there, stays in there. And I'd like our relationship to continue as if it never happened."

"As if it never happened? Do you regret me?" I ask.

"That came out wrong. By that I mean I'd like us to remain friends. We are that at least, aren't we?"

"Yes, I suppose we are."

"Then don't make things weird by avoiding me. Or are you embarrassed because I'm human?"

Her ears flick.

"Your ears are turning red and your lack of response is enough to be insulting. If it was that much of an issue, you should have went home instead."

And now she's angry.

"Sit down."

There's a twitch in her right hand and I know there's the urge to slap me.  
"I am not good with women. I am a workaholic and for an elf, I am not very social." I motion for her to sit and she does. "That event has challenged my upbringing and my views. I am not happy about that."

She hums and the longer she stares at me with her arms crossed, I see the gears clicking in her head.

"You were a human virgin?"

Wine. I need wine.

"I was, wasn't I?" She's smiling now and giggling.

"Don't laugh at me."

"Laughter doesn't necessarily mean a bad thing. How insulted would you be if this were reversed and I was ashamed because you're an elf?"

"I'd find that incredibly insulting and I'd drop you like a bad habit."

"Oh good, you're heads not too far lodged up your ass to have some perspective." Her nails gently scratch her head before she puts her hair back up with the stick in her hair, and I'm greeted with a whiff of her pomegranate shampoo.

"I can comprehend you're dilemma. Parents raise their children with the ideals they believe, but you're not a child. You're an adult. You make your own decisions and as adults we can enjoy each other and leave it at that. There's nothing wrong with it. No one was forced to do anything. I'm not expecting a marriage proposal and I'm not expecting it to happen again. We had fun. Lets just leave it at that, okay?"

"That was not the response I was expecting?"

Slowly she smiles. "What were you expecting? Please, don't leave me. I loves you." There's a soft whine in her voice and much sarcasm. "I've already got a wedding day picked out and the names of our kids. Don't do this to meeeee. Really, Kandomere, do I strike you as the clingy type?"

"No, no you don't but I am not familiar with human women. She-elves are . . . the whole female gender is a mine field." I tip right the other wine glass here and pour her some.

"Yeah, well, you try being a woman and trying to read between the lines when a guy says he's not in to having a relationship, but at the same time he wants to be exclusive. Then when you ask them to explain, they can't because they don't wanna just say they want the physical without the emotions and commitment. Because then they're afraid of looking like a dick but it makes them an even bigger dick by not saying what they mean or meaning what they say." She takes a drink. "Then there's my favorite, it's not you, it's me. Bitch, if you don't wanna be with someone, just say it. Or looks don't matter, but when I was softer, they're looking. Now I'm thinner and I'm too manly. A girl can't win for losing."

"They are stupid. You're beautiful. Considering an elf's high standards, you better start smiling."

"Even my webbed feet?"

"I've seen worse."

"Oh?"

"My partners feet are disgusting and instead of stinky feet smell, he smells like Parmesan."

She is trying not to laugh. "I bet."

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"The difficulty I have and the biting." I refill my glass. "And Amarel has informed me I bruised you, but I already know that."

"I'm alive, aren't I? And I've got no complaints. Except you're a speciest weenie and I should've bit you harder."

Amarel is right there and she only catches the last of the conversation.  
"Very graceful, elf."

"I just heard that last part. I really need to stop coming in to the end of peoples conversations. I didn't need to hear that."

"If you can't handle a conversation about sex then you shouldn't be having it."  
"Well it's about time you had some. You were getting tenser and tenser," Amarels hands rub her shoulders. "And for a moment I was waiting for a good wind up your skirt to set you off."

"Whoo-hoo." Krista smiles. "I'm gonna get back to work. Enjoy your dinner and if you need anything, just bark at Amarel. I'm stuck out on the patio tonight. Melissa usually covers it, but she was struck by a car a few days ago so she's currently in the hospital recovering."

"Is that your stomach?" I inquire.

"Probably." Amarel replies. "Sit. The only people out there are the orcs and they're having a grand time. I'll just have Jasmin seat them inside and not the patio for about 40 minutes."

"I don't feel hungry."

"You want fries? Personal pizza? Or what? Don't flick your ear at me. You're going to sit down and eat something because I'm not picking you up off the floor. Now pick something or you're getting vegetables."

She sighs. "Fries, broccholi, scoop of the chili and some cheddar on top, please."  
"Good girl."

"Woof. Don't wait on me. Eat."

"It's rude."

"Eat or wear this wine."

I choose to eat because I know she will dump that on me and I rather not stain my shirt.

"In the future, don't avoid her. Elf, human or whatever, when men do that shit it makes us feel like we've got the plague. We're capable of having a good fuck and not getting attached, but don't treat a girl like a clingy whore that gave you a disease."

"Something tells me I didn't damage your self esteem doing it."

"Not my point."

"Then what is your point?"

"Others don't have my thick skin and you may get assaulted or you can forget about a round 2."

"I thought we left off at round 5."

"You cheeky buggar."

"Have I ruined that possibility with you?"

"I haven't decided yet. Think you'd be able to handle the fact I'm human?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"Here you be. So, when can I expect cute little hybrid babies?" Amarel asks as she sets Krista's chili cheese fries with a side of broccoli.

"No." Krista tells her.

"Well, that was quick. I guess there's no asking about a future together at all?" Amarel asks.

"Worry about your own love life, please."

"Yes, Miss Moody."

Krista eats with her fingers. I'll have to break her of that habit.

"Fork."

"You don't eat fries with a fork."

"You're eating with me. Use a fork. You're not an ape."

"Say please." She coos and looks impish with a little smirk.

"Please."

She uses her napkin to clean off her fingers and picks up the fork.

"Orcs celebrate birthdays?"

"Don't you?" She retorts.

"I have not in a very long time. To me it is just another year gone. When is yours?"

She pauses. "February. I'll be 33 this year."

We talk about trivial things, mostly her life because mine is confidential. This place is thriving. She will be catering the second wedding of Suiadan and Lamthroeil. After 200 years, they are renewing their vows. Aside from that, she's a homebody, as she says, and nothing exciting is going on. The only exception is Amarel and her never-ending youtube horror show.

"Guess who called back?" Amarel has returned to our table.

"The ghost of Allie?"

"Yep. You're free to run away." Amarelis right in her ear. "And have more adult fun time."

"Pot and size kink porn?" Krista suggests.

"No! With live people." Amarel points at me with both fingers.

"I think you need more adult fun time in your life because you're way too focused on mine."

"And you're drunk."

"I am not drunk. I'm relaxing."

"Well relax at home. With that. And if you don't, I'm going to assume the sex was horrible." Amarel says.

"Since you weren't invited, it's not your business." Krista retorts.

"Your ears are turning red." She gently blows in her ear and skips away before Roxy can slap her.

"Seeing as I've been the only one to make you blush, I will take that as a complement. Finish that and I'll take you home before you fall asleep."

She breathes in deeply. "I've been up since four."

"Why?"

"Couldn't get back to sleep. It's a normal occurrence." She downs what little wine is left in her glass. "I'm gonna go clock out. Are you done?"

"Let them handle it. Go clock out."

I can see she'd like to argue, but doesn't. When she returns, I bring the wine with us to the car. She's relaxed and over tired. By the time I pull into the driveway, she's sound asleep. I go around to her side, unbuckle her and fish out her keys from her pocket.

"Are we there?"

She's still mostly asleep, blinking but her eyes aren't refocusing.

"Yes. Be still. I'm just going to unlock the door first."

She breathes in deeply. "It's the blue one."

Her keys are color coded, I realize; blue, green, yellow, white, and pink rubbers on the keys. I unlock the door before carrying her inside. The click of the door makes her foot twitch. I'm almost to her bedroom when she breathes me in and sounding so content. It reminds me of our night of passion that's made me question things. The kiss on my cheek makes me question things all over again.  
I remove her shoes and her socks, next her pants but leave her t-shirt on and tuck her in. Her elvish is slurred and it sounds like thank-you and I'm just so tired.

I just noticed she snores. It's so faint maybe I didn't notice it before was because I was exhausted. I take her house key off so I can lock her door and slip it in through the mail slot in the door.

I open the text before sitting in my car. It's Montehugh.

Did you leave with your human?

 **She was tired and had a bit too much to drink.**

Lie. But he doesn't know that.

 **I took her home to sleep it off. WITHOUT me since I know that is where you're going with this conversation.**

:) Enjoy it before she gets strings.

I know what he means by that. The problem is, I don't think she's the one getting strings. I think I am.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9  
Festival of Lights  
Kandomere POV

She's here. She's here! I haven't seen a human at one of these festivals in decades! At first glance, I thought she was an elf! She's dressed like us so she's blending in. The ears aren't quiet right, but like I said, at first glance.

"Something catch your eye?" My mother looks in the general direction I am but doesn't catch on. "She's getting married. But he has another daughter."

She thinks my attention is on the daughters of Suiadan, Araana and Silana.

"I was not aware. Which one?" I ask, playing into my mothers thought that couldn't be more wrong.

"Both of them, actually. Araana is having hers in the fall and Silana wants one in the winter."

Spring is just beginning. We are having our Festival of Lights; the celebration of goods triumph over evil and springs new life.

The fairies are causing havoc. They've stolen a bushel of grapes that both of them have to carry and fly with at the same time, and it's slapped someone in the face.

"Sorry! Sorry. They listen when they want to."

She shoos them away and holds up a bill. "Go give that to the vendor to pay for whatever you've stolen."  
One takes it and flies off. The other lands on her shoulder and she gives him one of the grapes. When the other returns, he lands on her head and starts picking at the flower crown atop her head.

"You wanna get flicked!"

A tulip's got a bite taken out of it and his attention goes to the grape she offers him.

"If you shit in my hair, I'll squeeze you so hard your eyes pop outta your head."

She's wearing an ankle length gown that's the color of plums and lilacs with a crown of orange tulips.

"That abominable thing that thinks she's an elf." My father hisses.

I don't want to look at him. Yes, she is not an elf, but she is the first mortal I've met that's done everything right without insult. She does not deserve to be looked down upon.

"Suiadan must be going soft." My mother adds. "There are still rumors that she is his pet and I still can't decide if that's true or not."

"She's not."

"Have you met it?" Mother inquires.

"My latest case has lead to us meeting."

"Is she a hybrid?" My father asks.

"I don't know."

Amarel is here with her, dressed in orange. Not many can pull off that color.

"What are you doing?" I hear Krista asks Amarel.

"We're dancing. I love this song." Amarel replies.

"No we're not."

"Yes we are."

The fairies have gone from her and Amarel is attempting to get her to dance with her.

"No. Dance-rape." She begins slapping Amarels hands and backing away from her.

"Yes! The guys here are being stuck up. Dance with me."

"Keep it up and I'll sic the fairies on you."

She gasps. "You wouldn't!"

"I would. And they just ate a bunch of grapes. You'll have purple shit in your hair."

She ends up dancing with her anyway.

"They even have dwarves here this year. The standards just keep lowering every year." My father sneers.

I look around and I spot them between the sea of taller elves. The stocky dwarves with dark hair. They must be here for diplomatic meetings. There's one in particular that stands out among him for 2 reasons: he's blond and he's staring at Krista.

I don't like it.

"Something on your mind, little brother?"

Ah, my sister. Just the sight of her appearing makes my parents disappear. I guess they still can not tolerate the fact that she married a human. They've disowned her but I haven't.

My sister has been on this Earth for almost 500 years and it took her centuries to find someone she wanted to marry. I don't agree with her choice but some times you do not get to choose who you love. The longer I think about Krista, the more I am realizing that.

"So many things and often." I kiss her cheeks. "I see things have changed greatly since we last met."

She's pregnant. I would say at least five months along. We walk and talk as the crowd passes through the streets of Elf Town. Just when I think she is leaving me to rejoin her husband a few steps behind us, she tells me she approves.

"Of what?"

"There's been talk of an FBI agent and a bright spending much time together. I approve. She's cute. Do they know yet?"

"No."

"Have you had any formal courtship?"

"No." I breathe in deeply. "I don't know what I'm doing, Rosdaladwen. She's human."

"She's also a bright. With ears like that, I wonder if she's a hybrid. Have you asked about her family history?"

"She's adopted."

My sister hums. "Then it's not impossible. You know how many are abandoned because they are hybrids."

Too many.

"One of her grandparents might have been an elf. I'll see you later, little brother. I have to get back to my husband before the crowd swallows him."

"How did you know?"

"That he was the one?"

"Yes. How did you know?" I implore.

"I felt addicted. After constantly thinking about him, I accepted a date. After that, it was another and another, and then I started entertaining the idea of waking up next to him in the morning and sleeping together at night." She breathes in deeply. "And it only got worse after we had sex."

"Too much information."

"One day, I just knew. I felt that if I didn't see him, life would become bland again."

"You will outlive him."

"Probably. Most likely. I had that same dilemma and then I decided I've been waiting on this majority of my life. I will not let what little time I have slip between my fingers because I was afraid of something that wouldn't occur for at least 60 to 80 years. That is not forever for us, but it is for him. And it's all he'll ever have."

She ruffles my hair and tells me she'll see me later, and she's expecting me to be a good uncle.

"I'm a good brother, aren't I?"

In the swarm of people I spot her because the fairies are circling again. They've grabbed the Dwarf prince by the hair and is making a scene that ends with him tipping backwards over a railing and on to the stairs.

"Get lost you blue little shits!" Krista shoos them away and ducks under the railing. "Are you okay?"

"I've had worse. When are you going to get rid of those things?"

"Fili!"

"Surprised?"

"Uh . . . yes. What happened to avoiding elves like the plague?"

I'm being pushed along with the crowd and musicians are getting louder. I can't hear anything more being said and soon I loose sight of them.

What if he's here to get her back?


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**   
**Lunch**   
**Kandomere POV**

I'm already at the restaurant and I'm still debating whether or not to call Krista and invite her to lunch with me. My sister- now that we are on speaking terms again- invited herself over for dinner with me last night and brought with her the spicy Thai food she was craving.

She and husband Christopher have moved back in to Elf Town. This is where she grew up and Christopher said it was better than his hometown, and he will die before he goes back to Hickville, population, 1,007.

We caught each other up on the last decade of our lives, and then we some how came around to Krista and my relationship with her. Rosdaladwen thinks I should go for it. Considering how lacking my private life is and has been, I think I agree with her that I need to carpe diem before the Filita sails again. I had to ask my sister what that was, Filita. It sounds like a food similar to a fajita or taquito. She explained to me it's the bastardization of Fili and Krista. A juvinile craming together of their names to show they're together.

To that she added Kandomere and Krista may be Kandorista or Kanista or something just as equally stupid and childish. Kandorista sounds like something that would be a dance.

I look at my phone when is chirps. Amarel has uploaded another video of Elf & Angry Dwarf. Yes, I'm certain now this is what humans mean by guilty pleasure.  
As soon as I unlock my screen, I hear it. Krista's laughter. It brightens my mood for all of half a second because I realize it is not her laughter on video. She is here in the restaurant and I can deal with Amarel being third-wheel, but that is not Amarel with her.

Fili.

Don't you have diplomatic things to be doing? Or finding yourself a bride that is not my human? Krista is eye to eye with him. Dwarves don't often get above five-feet, and Krista- according to her drivers liscence- is five-one.  
What did he say that's got her laughing like this? I've never heard that sound from her before.

They sit together at a small two-person table against the wall. There's enough people in here that I can't hone in on their conversation. What I can tell is she's relaxed with him. Her movements are relaxed like when she is with Amarel, but I can not remember when she has been this relaxed with me. Has she ever? Can she not relax with me? She even admitted to needing alcohol to relax enough for physical intimacy.

The waitress comes and goes and their conversation continues. Fili lays half on the table with one arm stretched out against the wall and Krista mirrors this by leaning on her right arm, head propped up on her fist.

I can't see him on the other side of her and with her back to me all I can see is that he's done her hair. The only time I have ever seen Krista do her hair was for the Festival of Lights just two days ago. I suspect Amarel did it for her.

He's done her hair. In Dwarf language he's laying claim on her again and she's allowing it!

No, this can't be. She's decided not to be with him. She said so herself that after that attempt on his life made that decision for her.

Then why are they having lunch together?

"What?" I hiss when the waitress touches my shoulder.

"I spoke and you hadn't answered. Twice. Are you alright?"

I place my order and Sarah moves on to the kitchen. Wonderful. The one day off I have in months and I get to spend my lunch watching the woman I want have lunch with a fuzzy haired, big nose- giant eared dwarf!

They share an appetizer and I can see the elves surrounding them are appalled they eat with their fingers. She must've said something while he's drinking because he just snorted it. It only makes her laugh more. She leans backwards in her chair to grab the napkin dispenser on the next table only to fall backwards completely.

She's on the floor with her legs still over the chair and she's laughing.

"That's what you get for making me snort water!"

It's a little more quiet and I heard that before he grabs her chair and tips her upright. He exchanges the napkin dispensers and sits.

"Brother!"

I had heard Kili took an elf for his bride, but I did not believe it until now. With him is a pregnant red haired elf that looks like she is ready to bust.  
They sit at the table next to them and Krista begins talking to her. I can't make anything out. There's still too much clatter in here. The redhead takes Krista's hand and lays it in one particular spot and I can see that it makes her uncomfortable. Instead of letting it show too much, she groaps her gently and taps on her belly.

"It's not ripe yet."

Her comment makes them all laugh. The table to my left is now empty but that still leaves the screaming child to my right.

I think Kili has said something to upset Krista. All of them go silent and she excuses herself to the bathroom. While her back is turned, Fili slaps Kili in the back of his head. I don't see the rest. I leave my table and wait for her to exit.

"Jesus fuck! Kandomere," I've startled her and she jumped. "were you waiting on me?"

"So you did notice I was in the restaurant?"

"I'm having lunch with-"

"Fili. I can see that. Why are you having lunch with him? I thought that ship had sailed."

She crosses her arms. "Did you wait out here to remind me?"

"I'm just curious. You said so yourself you were done with him and I see the way he looks at you."

"Ya jealous?"

She is surprised by my response, or lack there of. Silence of course, can mean so much. I realize now she was being sarcastic.

"I'm sorry."

"For what? I enjoy our moments together. It's not like I'm springing a marriage purposal on you." I reason.

"Usually I'm on the recieving end of it and it's accompanied by it's not you, it's me."

"Then what is it? Do we not spend enough time together? We are both workaholics."

She steps back to allow someone to pass between us into the men's room.

"I see how you are with him. I should have said nothing. You are never like that with me."

"Like what?"

"Relaxed. It is different when you are with him. You are formal with me."

"You're an elf."

"You do not trust me because of that?"

"I don't know how to behave because of that. Amarel wasn't raised by elves. She's elf but she's not. You're," She licks her lips as she thinks. "Things I do drive most away. It's precieved as crass, uneducated, one elf even compared me to a neanderthaw because of my behavior. I am formal with you because it fits. Dwarves are not like elves."

That is certain.

"You still love him."

"I don't know anymore. I know it will go nowhere and it will get me nothing."

"Then why bother?"

"Why do people smoke when they know it'll kill them?"

Because they like it and they want it, they need it.

"I'm sorry if I have made things awkward between us." I tell her.

"I'll get over it."

"Maybe I'll grow on you." I can't help but smirk when I say it.

"Just don't start talking children and living in the countryside. I've been there, done that, and I will run for the hills."

"When did that happen?" I ask.

"The end of high school. We had been friends for years and all of a sudden it was I love you, lets get married and have babies. And I'm like," Her expression is one of anxiety and confusion and terror all rolled in to one. "It's a lot to take in when your view of and relationship with someone is completely challenged. Then there's the whole elf-human dynamic. You're gonna outlive me by a few of my lifetimes. Suppose this does evolve into something, you really wanna sign up to watch me wither away and die?"

"Such a pessimist. There is still a lifetime before that will happen."

"Pessimist and realist am I. I have to get back before someone comes looking for me. You're not going to forever ignore me, now, are you?"

I smile. "If I did that, how am I going to grow on you?"

She smiles softly and I can see her ears wiggle. I've noticed she has a little tell. Even when she turns stoic, which is often, her ears give her away.

"Everythig okay?" Fili asks her.

"I'm alright. That water had to make an exit some time."

The rest of my lunch, I spend watching her with them. With Kili and his spouse with them, they have turned calm and their conversation seems to come mostly from Kili.

Maybe I should enlist Amarel to help me get out of the friend-zone Montehugh warned me about.


End file.
